Meet “The Hammaconda”

Aight ladies, whether or not you are sworn fans of AMC’s Mad Men, like Jon Hamm or not, or simply think he’s way superior to current universal girl crush, Ryan Gosling, you’ve probably noticed the buzz about Jon Junior, AKA The Hammaconda. Apparently, it’s so big it’s almost out of control! Not helping the …ehm.. situation, is the fact that Jonny boy apparently does not wear underwear, not even on set. Well, if his junk truly is so big that it’s a problem, which it shouldn’t be unless Jennifer Westfield has trouble walking (ding dong!), how would an extra thin layer of fabric contain this monstrous being?

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Let it hang freely, Jon! Women salute you!

What do you think, ladies? Is there really a need for a man’s face (although) gorgeous to keep up sales for the legendary perfume? I think we should keep Marylin Monroe, she’s the icon of No. 5 after all.

the hook: on brands and media

Brad Pitt is now hawking Chanel No. 5.

Just let that sink in for a moment.

If you missed the monologue because you were too occupied staring at a pretty man in dire need of a haircut, here it is:

It’s not a journey.
Every journey ends, but we go on.
The world turns and we turn with it.
Plans disappear, dreams take over,
But wherever I go, there you are.
My luck, my fate, my fortune
Chanel No. 5
Inevitable.

So that’s nonsense, essentially. And I find it a little strange coming from a man.

That being said, the ladies love them some Brad; so the chances this commercial flops aren’t great. For me, however, the ad (teased by industry publications for some time) fell flat. And if I were to do the casting, I would go in another direction.

Chanel No. 5 is the ultimate in women’s fragrance…

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